Sucking dick 101:
-Just cause you can deepthroat doesn’t mean that’s all you should do. With most men, it’s good to do early on to show off that you can and to express your eagerness, but don’t forget that there are other parts of your mouth to use.
-Play with the balls. Suck on the taint. I mean give it a good suck, like you’re trying to give him a hickey.
-Lick and suck on the head, but not too much. It can get sensitive and stop being pleasant if you overdo it.
-Change your speed. Take it all the way out of your mouth then put it back in.
-Apply pressure with your tongue and always keep it moving.
-Pay attention. Try a few different things and figure out from his response what feels best. He will let you know if he wants deepthroated the whole time, prefers a slow suck, etc. Or sometimes he will take control and put you where you’re needed. Be attentive to his pleasure.
-Thank him after he cums for letting you service him.
Getting fucked 101:
-Your hole will get used to it, but it can be rough the first few times. Trick I learned earlier on is to kinda push out like you’re taking a shit when he’s putting his cock in you. This keeps you from tightening up and lessens the pain.
-Use lube as needed, unless you’re a champ and take it with spit the first time. Just use lube.
-Don’t try to ride his dick from on top the first time, you’re not good at it. Seriously. Don’t ride cock until you’re good at getting fucked. I promise you, you suck at it until you’ve had practice and it won’t feel good for your top. Doggie style is a good place to start.
-I’ll give no advice one way or another on condoms. Educate yourself and make your own decisions. Play safer until you know your shit.
-Just cause it’s been in your ass doesn’t mean you can’t suck it some more. He’ll like that.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Thank you! Thank you for helping and rescuing me! Thank you for telling me what to think and how to feel. Thank you for judging me and putting a value on my life and the decisions i make - yes, i’ve made these decisions. Thank you for stepping into a situation you obviously do not understand and defining it in your own terms rather than accepting me for who and what i am on my terms. Oh, and best of all, as i am being exposed across the Internet, thank you for reaching out under the veil of anonymity. i’m sure you feel much better now. All i can offer is my thanks.
I need to weigh in here, Anonymous. What you don’t understand is that CF and I have known each other for over 12 years. This relationship has been a slow, steady progress. What started out as a game of dares revealed that we each have roles that we prefer to live. CF and I are both college educated, white-collar workers. To our friends and families we are considered happy and helpful. But like any work of art, you have to walk behind it to get the full meaning of the piece. CF and I have sides (some might call them “darker” sides) that we delve into to make each other fulfilled. CF is not being forced into anything; he has fantasies of being dragged down to a subhuman level. My role, as his Alpha, is to give him permission to go to those places (he would never dare himself to do some of the things he really wants to do), and to make sure that he does these things safely. CF knows that if at anytime he decides this is no longer a Alpha/sub relationship we decide we want to engage in, either of us have the right to call it quits.
CF has plenty of self respect; he respected his life enough to find someone who gives him the outlet to do the things that makes him happy, and he found someone who makes sure they’re done in a safe, controlled environment. What you perceive as “being treated like shit”, he sees as fulfilling.
I hope that every faggot finds the perfect Alpha for him, and that they can challenge each other to achieve together what they could not conquer apart.
Ah, SO much I could (and want to say) about fear, but I’ll confine my comments to your direct question. You know the difference, he doesn’t. The best way to do help him distinguish is in the moment. Next time you sense him going into “panic attack,” stop everything, cup his chin in your hand—directing his face to yours (only inches away)—look him right in the eye and calmly talk to him about what’s happening. You can either go into coach therapist role (questions), or Daddy role (explanation). “What’s going on right now? You’re acting like you’re afraid—what are you afraid of right now? How is this fear different from the respect I expect and deserve from you? How can you replace that fear with respect?” Or, “You’ve entered panic mode right now, boy. You’re doing _______. I don’t like that because it draws your focus away from me as you seek to protect yourself. The difference between your fear now and the respect I want is ______. Here’s what I want you to do <insert something that will help him calm down and redirect his energy away from fear and into respect>.” Depending on the severity of his panic, you may do well to just make him feel safe/protected (whatever that looks like for you—hold him, put him in a headlock, have him nurse your balls, whatever you know comforts him) for a moment until he calms down and is ready to address the problem.
Also, and this is just as important, when you sense him in a good place (respecting, honoring and worshipping you), do the same thing as I said above (to reinforce the appropriate behaviors and attitudes). “What’s going on now boy? What are you feeling right now? How is this respect different from the fear you felt ___________?” Or, “You’re in a good place now, aren’t you, boy? This is the respect I want from you. This is how it should be. Notice that calm, safe, grounded feeling inside and compare it to the fear you were feeling _______” Regardless of the approach here, follow up with some sort of reward (e.g., a smile, a pat on the head, “good boy,” a privilege, etc)
One of the biggest mistakes Alphas make is to focus too much on the bad/undesirable and not enough on reinforcing the good/desirable. Use both and increase your leverage. Let me know how things go…
First, thanks, glad you like the blog. Next, yes, i hear this often. So many Alpha-wannabes. On occasion, you’ll run across an Alpha who hasnt quite found himself yet, and this is who you want to promote/encourage, right? Because promoting/encouraging someone who is not an Alpha will just prolong your inevitable disappointment. Society teaches (strongly) that we are all “equal”. That is usually what’s tripping up an Alpha. He hasnt quite reconciled societal norms with the reality of who he really is, and what you really are. THis is where you can help, by clarifying your position—that you accept, no, rejoice in your place. Being with, and of service to, a real man like him lifts you and brings you joy. Then prove it with action (offer to do his laundry, or run an errand for him, etc—something non-sexual, so he sees this is not just part of some role play or fantasy). Express yourself and your feelings (without telling him how or what to think about himself) as a proud, happy beta. If he’s an Alpha, he’ll pick up on your cues and realize that you have replaced society’s mandate with a deeper truth about yourself, and by extension, about Him. This frees him to go deeper himself and, if he’s an Alpha, reject society’s norm and realize his true nature as a superior. Update me after a while, boy, i want to hear how this goes (curious if he’s an Alpha or a dominant-ish beta).
I’m always amused when the “wannabe” slaves seem to expect that their days will be chock full of pain, torture, abuse, and sex. As if Master is theirs to command, devoting His entire waking day to fulfilling their fantasies. The true slaves know that if they are really 24/7/365 property, a good part of their time will be spent something like this slave is experiencing… chained, shackled, hooded, locked in chastity, most likely with his ass plugged, and waiting for Master to come home and decide to take him out for His amusement and relaxation. Perhaps this slave aspires to become so completely submissive and obedient that he can be left mobile, to be able to perform domestic duties while Master is out. Perhaps he cannot be trusted with such privilege. But in any case… boys… don’t expect any babysitters.